| Title | Score |
|---|---|
| Dave: Hide evidence in microwave. | 344 |
| A mother will do whatever is best for her children. | 326 |
| Insert disc 2. | 325 |
| Rose: Refuse to acknowledge the absurd kitten. | 333 |
| OPEN CHEST. | 366 |
| ======> | 333 |
| ==> | 349 |
| dear jade, | 330 |
| KISS HER | 328 |
| Rose: Look for mad scientists. | 414 |
| WV: Captchalogue can of custard. | 327 |
| ==> | 327 |
| Dave: Look out window. | 355 |
| Jade: OH GOD HURRY UP AND GO KISS THE GIRL YOU WIMP | 346 |
| Jack: Kill John's dad yourself. | 326 |
| WV: Deappearify the pumpkin. | 352 |
| ======> | 328 |
| END OF ACT 1. | 327 |
| John: Be the huge bitch. | 333 |
| ==> | 331 |