Your DAD wields a dreaded ARTIFACT OF CONFECTION. He stands between you two? You obviously have no idea.
SOLLUX: oh no are you heariing that 2pooky me22age from the pre2iident or 2ome 2hiit.
SOLLUX: eheheheheh riight on but let2 2hut our mouth2 a 2econd and talk about what you wanted two talk two the2e day2.
SOLLUX: ii know your fiilthy 2eedflap ii2 flutteriing iin the fecal matter of a priivate matter between me and my2elf more than you could ever begiin two hate me and my2elf and you and 2he are pretty tiight arent you?
SOLLUX: youre on the iinternet!
SOLLUX: maybe since they're g0ne, it means that i'm blind n0w.
CAC: :33 < eww
SOLLUX: ii don't hear a serket st0ry.
SOLLUX: because she's asleep, she's dead, y0u're alive, and i'm blind, stupid?
FineryFiend changes status to BOWING.